me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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