when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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