Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
