Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
