they need to just BURY HIM!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
