There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
