Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
