the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
