White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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