I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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