This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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