I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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