Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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