I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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