i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
