Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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