"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
