I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
