I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
