I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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