honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize