i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i wish my penis had a tongue
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
