Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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