i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
