i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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