So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
