Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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