i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
