the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Damn victory sex feels great
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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