thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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