Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Found the puke drawer
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
