ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
