Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
