Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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