I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
