Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
