idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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