Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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