Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
