Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
