Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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