i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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