i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
