Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
