He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
