Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
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