took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
