...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
