Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
