I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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