remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
