do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
