He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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