Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
