so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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