i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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