i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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