Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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