i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
