I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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