Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
