I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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