You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
